Lucky dip in Lakshadweep




Deep blue sea was a fascination for me ever since my childhood when I used to visit Alibag- my native town. The beaches in Mumbai were rather commercial but Arabian sea in Alibag was pristine and walking to the Colaba Fort during low tide used to be an adventure during every vacation. During my teens, I was smitten by Jules Verne’s 20000 Leagues Under the Sea. Deep down in my heart, there was a desire to visit remote islands, stay on a boat and most importantly take a dive in the turquoise ocean. Also, to experience the first-class treatment like in blockbuster-Titanic! I can barely swim and have a huge fear of water but still wanted to go see the underwater wonders. My dear husband Vinay and I  both were going to turn 50 this year and while thinking about how to celebrate our golden year, suddenly we thought of Lakshadweep where my in-laws had been roughly a decade ago.



Hundred thousand islands
Lakshadweep is an archipelago southwest of India, at about 200 to 440 km from Kochin in Kerala. The name literally means laksha (a hundred thousand) dweepa(islands) in Sanskrit. There is only a government-operated cruise ship that takes passengers and tourists during the non-monsoon season from the end of October to May. I was lucky to get two seats for Samudram package for the ship that was going to depart on my birthday. The booking process was very smooth and no agent was involved.  We deposited the money and got an acknowledgment within minutes!

We reached the coastal town Kochin the evening before by a train to Ernakulum. It was very hot and humid. From Ernakulum station we got an auto to our hotel in Thopumpady area near Fort Kochi. The next morning (Saturday), we went to the Lakshadweep wharf at 9 am. The tourists and passengers had already gathered. There were army officers, bankers from nationalized banks and other government officials with their families. This was a great opportunity for them to enjoy a vacation with their loved ones. An interesting group of around 15 senior ladies from Mumbai was also there! Some of them had knee pain, arthritis but were very excited to embark on the ship. There were a few young honeymooners with very young brides with red mehndi and bangles.  Surprisingly, this category was very small and senior citizens were more in number! Youngsters these days want to go abroad for a honeymoon rather than going for a destination in India.

Embarking the Mighty MV Kavaratti
In an hour, we were taken to a spot by bus where she was waiting – the mighty MV Kavaratti! Painted in white and navy blue, it appeared huge, about 120 meters long and 6 decks tall with the topmost level having two open decks. We boarded with our sacks to the 3rd deck. There were porters to help out people who needed help. We were greeted by Basheer- our Welfare officer and we went to our cabin on the 4th level. It was a cozy room with a window that opened on the starboard side with two bunk beds with clean linens, blankets, and pillows.  There was a study table, a wardrobe and most importantly a washroom with a shower! 20-liter can of drinking water was there. We were happy, that we were not going to buy bottled water! The air-conditioning was on and it felt nice after sweating in the sultry weather outside. There was a small shop next to our cabin which was selling tea, biscuits, and toiletries. The canteen and the recreation room were on our floor. The boarding continued for quite some time. We were served lunch and at 2.30 pm we departed. I communicated to my folks that the network may not be there for the next four days.  There were around 180 tourists and about 400 passengers. The passengers were carrying home interesting items such as a 32-inch television, furniture, big suitcases, bicycles among other stuff. They had to do a lot of work to carry these items to the islands. In spite of that, the islands had so many things. Electricity was being generated using diesel. In some places, there were solar panels.
Our cozy cabin



Passengers going home with luggage


The trail behind
The fear of the unknown struck me as the ship continued into high seas. This year, there were two occasions when I was beyond the network. In August, I went to the valley of flowers and Hemkuntsahib (14500 ft). That was a strenuous, high altitude trek and I was feeling very lonely as I could not communicate with the family for three consecutive days. The mind feels up with worries about what-if scenarios such as “I die” or “something happens to people back home”. Such thoughts keep bugging me even when there are beautiful sights around! I know that no one will miss me much but still, I think about it. Another fear was of sea-sickness and another was about going deep in the water. I had experienced snorkeling Malvan and had always cherished the memory of deep blue sea at noon that had colorful fish.  However, whether I will be able to take the pressure of 5-meter water or whether I will be able to breathe through my mouth. The thoughts kept bugging me.

At Minicoy

In the evening Basheer gathered us in the recreation hall and explained the 4-day program with the evacuation procedures. It was quite a detailed description of what we were going to do and rules and regulations. They explained how to wear life-jackets, how to jump from ship to a small boat and back and also how to blow a whistle like Rose (Titanic fame) if the situation arises! The view of the sunset from the deck was breathtaking. For the next 3 evenings, we would climb up to the deck every dawn, dusk and night to just look at the ocean and the sky. The night sky disappointed me as the ship had too many bright lights and I could barely see the constellations. However, it was enough to understand the directions that we were heading. The white trail left behind in the water by ship was looking beautiful from the top deck. Surprisingly, I did not have any signs of sea-sickness. We were going to visit three islands namely Minicoy, Kalpeni and Kavaratti-the capital of Lakshadweep. Each day, after morning we were supposed to disembark after breakfast and return to the ship before sunset.  I was very excited to witness everything that was ahead!

Women’s Island - Minicoy
On Sunday morning, after cruising for around 12 hours, a lush green island was visible. I could imagine the happiness Columbus would have had when he reached the new worlds. From the deck, we could see passengers getting ready to reach their homes on the Minicoy island- the largest of the islands which were also closer to the Maldives. The population of Minicoy is around 11000. The locals have a very simple lifestyle. Each family has members working on the ships or in the gulf. The ancient name of Minicoy is Maliku which literally means Women’s island. I am not sure why it is called so! I could not converse with local ladies at Folserry village which we visited that afternoon but the local delicacies and tea that they served were really nice. We first climbed up the lighthouse at Minicoy. From the top, the view was breathtaking, blue ocean, green plantations, and bright blue sky. At all the islands, there were bathrooms for shower and toilets. They also provided clean towels. At Minicoy, kayaking was complimentary. It was a two-person kayak. I was supposed to sit in front and Vinay at the back. The blue lagoon wasn’t very deep and we good towards a red flag posted to indicate that we should be turning back. I learned to paddle my own canoe on day 1 of the trip! After kayaking, we played in the water and had great food at the resort. The water was very clear and we could see the bottom of the lagoon.



From the top of the light house
A boat used for racing

Mermaid wonders- What is the color of water?


Lucky Dive in Laccadive
On Monday morning, we went to Kalpeni island. It was even more beautiful as compared to Minicoy. Here I gathered the courage to pay for SCUBA (Self-Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus) diving which not covered in the package. Soon after shelling out ₹4000 for both of us, the weather took a turn! I had changed into a swimsuit and it started pouring. For a moment, I felt if the weather might remain like that the whole day and there was no point going for diving. But in half an hour, the rain stopped.

The trainers took us to a shallow lagoon and we practiced breathing underwater with the air tanks. We were told that the 👍sign was to go up in case there is any problem and to indicate that all is fine we were supposed to use the 👌 sign. It took me some time to internalize this as we use the thumbs-up sign to indicate that we are fine. You can see in the video that I am holding my hands in this mudra throughout because I was so thrilled by the view and even by mistake, I didn’t want the trainer to take me up before my time.  The rain did a miracle for us because the ride to the middle of the sea in an open boat was pleasant as some of the clouds were drifting across the blue skies. By the time we were at the diving location, a mild sun showed up. It was a perfect light for diving because we could see through the pale turquoise water. There were around 8 of us and while going down the trainer would control the SCUBA and take care at all the time.  One of the divers was shooting the video which is a precious memory that I will cherish all my life!

Our diving photos (video can be seen here!) )

The trainer put some bread crumbs to invite fish. I hate to see processed food being thrown in such clear water, but it was lovely to see the fish that came surrounding us. This was my only complaint about the whole experience. One trainer said that the fish don’t really eat bread but they come when they see and some action. The colors of the coral reefs were stunning and there were innumerable varieties of polyps, mollusks, sponges, sea cucumbers, sea anemone. To me, it was impossible to remember the varieties of species I saw in those few minutes. It was like entering a surreal world that I had seen only in National Geographic videos. Scientists report that the coral reefs around the world are dying but what I saw was a live play of thousands of brightly colored species.  It made me very humble. Later, we also did some snorkeling in shallow water. I was cursing my self because the trainer made us wade through water and we may have trampled some organisms. The corals were pointed at some places and wearing sandals was necessary.  Kalpeni island fulfilled my dream of diving like a mermaid. My heart was filled with immense joy that is tough to put in words. In the afternoon, there was a dance show by local men on some Hindi songs. They were quite agile in their movements.




Capital Kavaratti
On the third day, we visited Kavaratti island which is the capital of Lakshadweep. It was more touristy as compared to the other islands and the drivers were a bit rash. The highlight of this day was the glass bottom boat ride. We could see the coral reefs through the bottom of the boat. That was too good! The museum had maintained the samples of marine creatures and shells and the aquarium was also maintained well. School children were in action in a nearby building. There was a cultural show choreographed by local young women and schoolgirls dressed in colorful clothes. The number of resorts on these islands is very limited. On our ship, there was no alcohol being served. That was the best thing to do because it maintained peace and people were sober!




People ask me, how long did it take to go to the islands? Honestly, I do not know the travel time because the ship would travel in the night and reach near an island by morning. I enjoyed the changing colors of sky and water. Near Kochin, the water was murky and brown, then it turned deep blue and as we approached islands it would become turquoise and glassy! Hats off to Sir C V Raman who got intrigued by the color and researched it. For the first time, I realized that the journey was as interesting as the destination. This trip was truly a memorable one.  It helped me come over the fear of death. I enjoyed the pristine beauty of the sea, swam like a mermaid and fulfilled my long-held dream of diving in Laccadive!


N.B. Please, carry a cup for tea/coffee that you can wash and re-use. Also, do not use a straw for tender coconut. During this visit, I mastered the technique of drinking directly from the coconut without spilling a drop!

Put on your own oxygen mask first!


Whenever I have been to drop my son for a public examination I have seen anxious parents. I was also one of them. Slowly, I started noticing that my anxiety fuels more stress in the whole family. If I want to ensure a peaceful life, I need to investigate the cause of my stress. Instead of that if I start expressing it in the form of anger, fear it further complicates our children’s lives. If you think you are helping them by constantly hovering over, it may not be the case! Perhaps, your children need some space and privacy. In the end, it is important to examine our own ideas about success and failure. Is success defined by the performance in the examinations only?

We tend to attach our children’s success stories with our image and reputation in the society. We fail to see it but indirectly it hurts our ego when they do not live up to our expectations. We visualize our children becoming someone big. And our imagery is based on what we have seen or experienced. When they are successful, we attribute it to our hard work and when they do not reach the expectation set by us, we consider it to be a personal failure. 

Although, our children much younger than us, they deserve a chance for exploration.  If a parent is an achiever, he/she wants the child to learn everything very fast and be at the top of the class. If the parent is not an achiever, they want the children to get better marks than themselves. So they start hiring tutors and sending them to best schools and coaching. Parenting does not stop at getting all these amenities.

Mindful parenting is about seeing the child and the circumstances as they are without coloring the reality with our own experiences and emotions.

Children have to figure out their own path because no one has seen the future. Our expectations and judgments come to us from our ancestors, society and our own emotional baggage. However, the circumstances keep changing and one needs to be aware of current scenarios. We need to be careful while passing snap judgments and remarks.



A parent who is mindful is a passionate listener who facilitates blooming of young minds! S/he is open-minded and does not restrict people around. Most importantly, S/he investigates his/her own state of mind from moment to moment. Whenever I have taken flights with my little son I wondered about this announcement when your flight takes off- “Put on your own oxygen mask before you help a minor!” If you are not breathing properly, you cannot be in a position to help your child. Our thoughts fill up our minds with smog and we are unable to steer clear. Even when we are on the ground, we are constantly wearing different masks. We are trying to cover up our image with different kinds of masks. Recognizing what kind of mask we are putting on at various moments should be investigated.

As mindful parents, our primary responsibility is to watch our own thoughts and ensure that we are at peace!


Mindful parenting in the time of Career dilemma

Many children and parents are unsure about what subjects to study or which career path to go for. Some pupils are excellent in all subjects and do not know what to choose. Some children just hate subjects taught in schools and are clueless about future. Counselors and aptitude tests may guide up to an extent but the final decision is to be taken by the family.

As a parent, the first thing that one could do is to focus on the bright spots in your child. The bright spots may not be related to the career choices that you want them to have. You could be holding a strong position about one particular career path which may not be your daughter’s choice. Most parents want their children to be an engineer, doctor, CA, MBA or an architect. Especially in India, the competition for professional courses is fierce. Even if your ward is a high achiever, getting into the dream university/college may not always be possible. When you start noticing the bright spots, you may notice some seeds of an entrepreneur or an artist in your child which you are underrating! S/he could also be ready for a different career path that you are not even in a position to dream.

Having goals is important to get a direction but often these may be set by parents and not by children. Sometimes, parents keep repeating those goals in conversations and they try to imbibe those on children. They may turn into parental aspirations and expectations may lead to conflicts. It is important to ask yourself, are you putting your aspirations on your children?

What is the meaning of the term “Mindful Parent”?

The first step in being a mindful parent is Listening!
In several families, the communication between parents and children gradually reduces as the children grow. Adolescents have their own friend circles and things to do. If all that a parent is going to talk about is a set of instructions and warnings, kids do not want to listen to them. Instead, if the grown-ups start listening with focus, the gates of communication can open up. Listening without judging immediately could help to resolve several of the questions mentioned in the previous blog. Listening doesn’t mean listening with your ears only. It also means being aware of the non-verbal cues. It means being aware of the state of mind your child is in.  This may help you to understand your child better. You will be able to find the bright spots. If children get a confidence that you are not there to criticize or scold, they will open up and feel that you are supportive.

As you listen carefully, you can discuss college options freely. You can sit with your spouse and child to explore the possibilities. Sometimes, your children may not need advice but they may just want to think aloud and you can be of great help in this process. As far as possible, it would be better to make them independent thinkers rather than expecting them to go by your decisions.

If your child hates school or some subjects, it may come up during a casual chat in the evening. You can slowly find out what is happening in math class which your son hates.  It is possible that you may be able to think of an alternative way to explain the concept which he is not getting! You may watch a historical play or film together and it can develop interest in history in your child.

It would be better to keep a low key about that negativity. The more you are vocal about it, it is going to aggravate. If you are anxious about his/her exams, it will feed to his/her fear factor. S/he is entitled to an opinion. If you really don’t approve of it, you need to think about what exactly is the problem with it.

Suppose you don’t like your daughter’s clothing or your son’s hairstyle, whining about it doesn’t help. During holidays let them try out things. As youngsters, they are into image building. You cannot take their right away. However, you do a humble inquiry about how they got the idea, who else among their friends is doing it. This needs to be done tactfully- not to appear peaky but to become friendly. If they can carry it with confidence, let them do it. If it is the matter of girls’ clothing, check where exactly they will be, get to know their friends’ parents. Slowly find out what is driving their ideas. If you are friendly, your daughter will share her plans and talk about her experiences with you.

If you can become a good listener, they will emulate you. If you show interest in what they have to say, they will become your friends and the communication gap will reduce. In a perfect world, it would be good to have some time set aside for such interactions. In today’s busy life, parents will have to think about creative ways of setting up dialogues.

As you listen with care, you will notice that some of your complaints about your child’s behavior are connected with your own state of mind and behavior. If your son is spending an excessive amount of time on phone or computer, observe yourself.  Are you on the phone most of the time yourself? You cannot set different rules for yourself and your child. You cannot order them to run errands for you or shout to get their room cleaned. If they have seen you keeping the personal spaces clean and organized from early on, they will learn to do it. If someone was doing it for them all the years, they are never going to learn it.

If you show sensitivity they too will understand and help you when necessary. Our children are here to teach us patience and introspection. Many issues are connected with how we do what we do.

To summarize, the first two steps in mindful parenting are Listening and helping your child to become an independent thinker. As you are doing these, the third major step watching your own state of mind.


Horses, Healing and the Wisdom of Experience

A conversation with Subhadra Cherukuri of Miracle Equine Center,  Bengaluru S ubhadra Cherukuri’s journey has taken her from corporate manag...